HAVING A GREAT SEX LIFE – The importance of communication.

Having sex can sometimes mean a
number of different sexual activities, but
usually it means sexual intercourse. The
most common definition of sexual
intercourse is an act that involves a man
putting his erect penis inside a woman’s
vagina. Sexual intercourse might also be
used to refer to sex acts between two
men or between two women.

Sexual intercourse between a man and a
woman usually starts with them both
getting sexually excited. This is sometimes referred to as foreplay, and might involve sexual activities kissing, cuddling and touching each other.
Foreplay is important as it means a
woman’s vagina begins to get moist and a
man gets an erection. If the woman’s vagina does not get moist enough, then having sexual intercourse could be difficult or painful for her.

If two people have sex and one of them has a sexually transmitted disease (STD) then they could pass it on to the other person. Using a condom is the best way to prevent
any infection from being passed from one person to the other. If a man and woman are having sexual intercourse, and using a condom for protection against pregnancy or
infections, they should put it on the man’s penis as soon as he gets an erection. Some men say they worry about using
condoms in case they lose their erection or have difficulty putting the condom on. You could get some condoms and practice beforehand. Condoms come with instructions in words and pictures which show exactly how to use them. After the condom is on, the man or woman can guide his
penis into her vagina. The couple then move their bodies so that his penis moves up and down inside her vagina. This usually rubs the penis and makes the man sexually
excited so that he has an orgasm. The movement might also rub the woman’s clitoris (or sensitive areas inside her
vagina) so she can have an orgasm. But this often takes practice and a bit of experimentation to get it right.

Having sex does not usually hurt, though first time sex may be a bit uncomfortable for a woman because her hymen (a thin layer of skin that partially covers the entrance to the
vagina) may be stretched or torn. Some girls are born without a hymen and some tear theirs when inserting tampons or during sport. A torn hymen may cause a little
bleeding, but it does not usually last long. Sex is not usually painful for a man.
The best way to ensure pain free sex is for both partners to relax and take their time.
After the first time, sex should become more comfortable.
The vagina is very stretchy and will usually accommodate a penis (even a large one) with ease. However, a woman may
experience pain when having sexual intercourse if her vagina does not produce enough natural lubrication. Extra
vaginal fluids are usually produced when a woman becomes sexually excited to allow the penis to enter the vagina easily. If a woman is tense or rushing when she has
sex, her vagina may not become moist enough to allow the penis to move in and out smoothly. Stress can also cause
the muscles in the vagina to involuntarily tense up, making penetration difficult and painful. The best way to ensure
pain free sex is for both partners to relax and take their time. Extra lubrication might also help, and can be bought from many chemists and some supermarkets. When using a condom, it is very important that a water-based lubricant
(like KY jelly) is used, as oil-based lubricants like Vaseline can cause the condom to disintegrate.

There are quite a lot of different positions for sexual intercourse. One of the most common is the missionary position, where a woman lies on her back and a man lies on top of her. A man and woman might also lie on their sides, the woman may sit on top of the man, or she may kneel on all fours while the man puts his penis into her vagina from behind. If a couple are in a position where the woman’s clitoris is not being stimulated, they can do this with their fingers.

Similar things happen to most people’s
bodies when they have sex – they get
sensitive and warm and excited and may
have an orgasm. Enjoying sexual
activities with another person is possible
whether you have an orgasm or not. Not
being able to have an orgasm with
another person doesn’t mean that you
don’t fancy them or love them. Your
emotions might be different each time
you have a sexual experience, depending
on the circumstances. Having sex can be
one of the most intense and pleasurable
physical and emotional experiences a
person can have. But it won’t always be wonderful.

When sexual excitement builds up and
reaches a peak a person might experience an orgasm, also called a climax, or ‘coming’.
The sexual excitement might start from someone masturbating on their own, or through kissing, masturbating or having sex with another person. Sexual excitement usually grows gradually and a person
feels more and more pleasure and a kind of exciting tension. All the feelings of tension then disappear when the orgasm happens, and the person experiences feelings of
intense pleasure. The feeling can be so strong that a person might not be able to see, or hear or think about anything
for a moment. They might even groan and call out with the pleasure. Orgasms usually last only a few seconds but the feelings might last a lot longer. When a man has an orgasm he ejaculates. This means that
sperm mixed with semen comes out of the end of his penis in a sticky white fluid. After a man has ejaculated he loses his erection and usually needs to stop for a while. When a woman has an orgasm, her vagina often becomes very wet, but she can continue being sexually aroused as long as she
likes. Some women can experience more than one orgasm without stopping.
If a person doesn’t have an orgasm, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. In fact, worrying about reaching an orgasm or being nervous is quite likely to make it hard for
a person to relax enough to have one.

Anal sex (also known as anal intercourse) is when a man puts his penis into the anus and rectum of another man or woman.
Some people might have strong objections, especially religious or moral objections to anal sex. Others may feel uncomfortable about the idea of anal sex simply because
it’s not something they think they will find enjoyable or want to try. For others however, anal intercourse is a very enjoyable way to have sex. If a couple do decide to have anal sex, they should think about using a water-based lubricant, like KY Jelly, and a good quality condom.
Anal sex is often portrayed as something that only gay men do. This is not true. Many straight couples engage in anal
sex, while many gay men have never tried it. Anyone wanting to try anal sex should make sure that their partner really wants to do it. If one person wants to try it but the other doesn’t, it is better to stick to other forms of sex that both partners enjoy. If a couple do decide to have anal sex, they should think about using a water-based lubricant, like KY Jelly, and a good quality condom. They should also take it slowly. The
lining of the rectum is delicate and easily damaged during vigorous thrusting, particularly if the receiving partner is
not relaxed. There is a popular misconception that anal intercourse
between a woman and man is a good way to avoid pregnancy. Anal sex does carry a lower risk of pregnancy than vaginal sex, but pregnancy can still occur if any semen
leaks out of the anus and into the vagina. Using condoms is a more reliable way of preventing pregnancy, and they will
also protect against sexually transmitted infections.

Oral sex is when one person licks or
sucks another person’s penis or vagina.
When oral sex is done to a man it is sometimes called a “blow job”. When it is done to a woman it is sometimes
called “licking out”. If two people have oral sex with each other at the same time it is sometimes called a 69 because
of the shape their bodies make. A woman cannot get pregnant from giving oral sex to a man, even if she swallows his sperm.
Oral sex can be a very intense and intimate experience. Some people enjoy giving oral sex or having it. Other people feel uncomfortable about the idea and don’t want to do it. Sometimes people feel pressure to have oral sex when they don’t want to. It is very important to think about
what the other person really wants if you want to have oral sex. Some sexually transmitted infections can be passed on
through oral sex. There are flavoured condoms available that you can use when having oral sex. These are to stop any infections which might be passed on.

A woman usually masturbates by rubbing, stroking or squeezing her clitoris. The clitoris is the most sensitive sexual part of a woman. She might also touch her breasts
and other sensitive areas of her body. A man usually masturbates by stroking, rubbing or ‘pumping’ his penis, and may concentrate particularly on the tip, which is the
most sensitive part. Masturbation is sometimes referred to as playing with yourself, or, especially with men, jerking
off, a hand job, or wanking. There is no physical reason why you should or
shouldn’t masturbate. It is not true that you’ll go blind if you masturbate, or that you will become weak or lose your health.
People don’t necessarily begin masturbating when they reach puberty. Some people hardly ever masturbate, and
others masturbate a lot. It varies according to how a person feels. Many people masturbate even when they are
in a relationship with someone. Masturbation can last as long as you want, but generally people masturbate for between a few minutes and half an hour. There is no physical reason why you should or shouldn’t
masturbate. It is not true that you’ll go blind if you masturbate, or that you will become weak or lose your health. It is not possible to masturbate too much, though you should stop if you start to make yourself feel sore.
Some people think that if a man doesn’t masturbate his testes will fill up with sperm. This is not true; the sperm are just absorbed into his body. It is also not true that women
who think about sex or masturbate are ‘easy’.